Newsletter Vol. 1 Issue 22

In the Garden of Gethsemane
Ron Zack, Contemplative Imaging, Copyright: ©2013

Read Ahead: Mark 14:32-42
 

Our newsletter on Monday called our attention to the ways in which Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders have experienced racist slurs, discrimination, harassment, and even violence over the past year. These cases continue to occur in our San Francisco Bay Area, causing many to be afraid that they will be insulted, berated, or worse, beaten because of how they look. Today, as we reflect on the agony of Jesus, we call to mind the agonies experienced each day by people of color who are feared, despised, and threatened just for being themselves.

I ask for the grace to enter into Jesus’ agony and suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane, and to be able to feel the agonies faced due to racism today.

I imagine Jesus gathering his disciples after dinner to go on a walk. They end up in the Garden. What does it look like? How dark is it outside? What is the temperature? Am I among the disciples or am I an observer.

Jesus gathers Peter, James, and John to walk a little farther. What does he say to them? Are they merry from the meal? Perplexed by the words about his body and blood? Am I among these closer friends walking with Jesus? How does Jesus look? What emotions does he express? What does he mean when he says “my soul is sorrowful?”

Jesus continues a bit farther and begins to pray. What does he pray about? Can I hear?

What kind of agony does Jesus feel? He asks God as Abba – Father – to take away his suffering. What suffering is he speaking about?

He returns to see the group fall asleep, and asks them why they fell asleep. What do they say? Am I among those who fell asleep? What do I or the others say in response? What do I feel as I hear his disappointment?

Again he goes to pray. For how long? Can I see anything? Again we fall asleep. What does he say to us this time?

When he comes back and sees we have fallen asleep yet a third time, what does he say? What is our response? Are we silent? How do we feel to have disappointed Jesus three times?

Take a deep breath in and out and pause. Reenter the scene. How might we imagine the sufferings of people today due to the sins of racism?

The context is our contemporary moment – one in which so many Asian American and Pacific Islander people experience so much discrimination, harassment, and violence. Who am I? Am I among the AAPI community or an ally? I imagine walking together with the others.

I hear the call that we must all stay awake to the hatred the AAPI communities experience and feel. Am I like Jesus, crying to God to take away my suffering due to my skin color? What does it feel like to keep telling the others to stay awake – to be attentive to the hatred so we can be safe?

Or do I fall asleep? Am I weary myself and tune out the news accounts of increased violence? Am I able to fall asleep because I am comfortable? What does it feel like to be told repeatedly I need to pay closer attention? Do I hear the disappointment from my AAPI siblings?

I turn back to Jesus’ experience and ask him to guide me. I ask him to help me make sense of all that I experienced in prayer, and to reorient me towards how he suffers in the world today. I ask for the courage to face the racism that confronts us today.

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What did I experience as I prayed with Jesus’ agony in the garden?

How did this change when I prayed with the contemporary experience of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders?

What does it feel like to pray with the suffering of Christ in the world today? Where did I feel resonance or tension?

Where am I called to learn more? How am I called to take action?